My Most Unhealthy Relationship
So, I don’t know where to start because this is something I am still working on and take my advice, don't. I'm still in the learning stages of how-to, so please be kind.
When I started making and spending money it quickly got out of hand. I never wanted to feel like I didn't have something or couldn't enjoy life and because of that it ultimately lead me to make bad financial decisions. I was never taught how to use money properly, therefore the relationship I did have with money was never stable.
I allowed myself to build up debt and didn't do a very good job of paying it off, I got frustrated, and emotional overwhelmed. And like a lot of people, I had attached some part of my identity to it.
Even if you have a high-paying job or are somewhat financially successful, it's still possible you don't have the healthiest relationship with money.
Brad Klontz, a financial psychologist says that “Financial health is having a conscious and purposeful relationship with money that is satisfying and isn’t overly stressful”.
Financial health? Financial health or wellness includes: spending money based on your values; having low or reasonable debt; saving money to meet your goals; and having a safety net, such as an emergency fund or insurance.
Excuse me, why weren't we studying this in school? I mean obviously the responsibility should have been on our parents as well, but why were we not taught anything about stuff like this in school?
My guess is that money is something we (as people) don't like or aren't allowed to talk about. (We can talk about other peoples money behind their backs, but our own situation is sacred). There's shame, guilt and all these stigmas connected to it that it's better not to say anything than learn something super valuable.
I guess for me not having any guidance growing up and hearing things like, "that's too expensive" and "we can’t afford that" led me to believe that there would never be enough, money is somehow bad and that it was arbitrary. Duly note that children make the association very early on between money and the ability to buy things.
I have been an overly spender, obsessed about it and sometimes thought I didn't deserve money. I've used it sparingly and I have splurged and here I am still learning to balance it all.
Not having it made me feel like I wasn't good enough and that I could never achieve it; that feeling can eat you from inside. I was embarrassed to not have things I thought I should have and when I finally started to have some I failed to be mindful of what I truly had.
Today I am grateful for the money I do earn and have and am slowly starting to create a respectful relationship with it. I am still paying off some dept I have which is a step in the right direction. And I continue to feel better about money as I change my beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions to ensure a more healthier path going forward from resentment to riches.
How's your relationship with money? Do you have any power tips on how to build a successful and healthy relationship with money? Please share your knowledge with the community either in the comments or on Instagram. Thank you.