Radical Joy: A User’s Guide

Sarah M.
Jul 7
3 min read

A not-so-gentle guide to being happy anyway

Joy lives in the small stuff. Walks. Tails. Tea. You.

✦ File under: Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me Sooner

Joy is not some sparkly reward for doing life “right.” It’s not what you get after you clear all your trauma, drink enough water, or finally find the perfect oat milk ratio for your matcha.

Joy is available right now, even in the mess. Especially in the mess.

And the best part? You don’t have to earn it. You just have to invite it.

✦ Joy Doesn’t Ask for Permission

I grew up with chaos. Real chaos—the kind that makes you want to duck when someone says “family gathering.” But somehow, even as a kid, I knew: this doesn’t get to define me.

Some of us inherit silver spoons. Some of us inherit emotional landmines. I got a chihuahua and a weird sense of humor. I call it even.

I don’t live in victimhood. I live in deliberate joy. And if joy is a rebellion, then I’ve got glitter in my pockets and snacks for the resistance.

✦ What Does Joy Look Like?

It’s not always profound.

Sometimes it’s:

Walking with my husband and our little dog, watching his fluffy tail do interpretive dance like it has its own chaotic agenda.
An ice cream cone during an evening walk, stopping by the water and pretending we’re the soft opening of a very cute indie rom-com.
Tea in the morning. A couch cuddle. A good playlist.
Laughing so hard at a dumb inside joke that I forget what I was anxious about five minutes ago.

It’s choosing to have “here to have fun” energy—waiting on hold with customer service, on laundry day, even when life is complicated. (Because spoiler: it always is.)

✦ Mental Health, But Make It Playful

Yes, I care deeply about mental health. No, I will not speak about it in a whispery meditation voice.

I’ve done the work—awareness, therapy, calling out my own unhelpful patterns like a whistleblowing inner coach—but I also play. I delight. I dance awkwardly. I say no to people-pleasing. I treat joy like a muscle and give it reps.

“You can start with nothing, and out of nothing—and out of no way—a way will be made.”—Michael Beckwith (Still gives me chills every time.)

✦ A Few Truths I Live By

Life is going to life. Expecting it to be easy is the easiest way to be disappointed.
You are not late. You are not behind. You’re just marinating.
You can be healing and joyful at the same time.
Happiness isn’t out there in the future. It’s here, in that one good song you forgot you loved.
Wear the outfit. Take the picture. Buy the damn candle.

✦ Authentic Joy Checklist

(for rebels, dreamers, and realists alike)

✅ Did I choose something fun, just because?

✅ Did I notice one beautiful, dumb, tiny thing?

✅ Did I interrupt one negative thought with: “Yeah, but what if something wonderful happens?”

✅ Did I treat joy like an inside job?

✦ Final Thought Before You Scroll

Life is happening for you. Not to you. And the purpose of life? Maybe it’s just to show up with curiosity, a full heart, and the kind of energy that says:

“I’m here to have fun. Let’s see what happens.”

So go ahead. Start your joy parade. Even if you’re the only one dancing at first.

Now tell me in the comments: what’s one delightfully small, weird, or unexpected joy you’ve had lately? (I’ll go first: watching my chihuahua try to boss around a bumblebee. Zero success. 10/10 comedy.)

Still joyfully weird,

soon-to-be 45 years old Sarah