First of all - January 1st isn't the only day you can start over. And it isn't necessary to recreate yourself every year.
I'm not saying you can't but I want to remind you that it's perfectly okay to stay just the way you are.
If you're glowing and growing in your unique way even if you haven't consciously made any changes for the past 6 (?) years, I want to tell you that you are doing great.
I've seen a great deal of heartache and harmful effects as a result of resolution commitment and the huge disappointments it can bring to individuals.
If you list a bunch of goals and to-dos you want to achieve but they give you anxiety and make you feel uncomfortable, maybe that's not the change you need.
Let's say you want to read X amount of books, chapters or pages a day because you've heard that reading is good for you, but you can't bring yourself to read and are easily distracted, maybe you should consider listening to a book or maybe there's a Ted talk you might enjoy.
Let's not commit to going to the gym 5 times a week and then hate our bodies because of we can't keep up.
Resolutions shouldn't depress you, they should be things that delight you, make you want to jump out of bed and add happiness to your life.
So if making resolutions makes you feel nervous, restless or is just another thing to add to your to-do list, maybe choose a word to guide you for the next 12 months?
I love this practice: it is intentional, it is simple, and it is meaningful.
Every time I think of my word of the year, it connects me back to my values. It helps guide my decisions and it can literally affect my mood and reframe my experiences.
In short, it’s a way to add more playfulness and intentionality into my daily life.
It's a promise to look, react and be true to myself in all situations.
For this new year I want to embrace a new energy for myself, one of softening. One of pleasure, of enjoyment, of inner calm.
And because I trust you, I will share my word with you.
My word for the year 2023 is SOFTEN
I chose the verb, rather than the noun “Soft”, because it will remind me that to soften is a choice.
After almost a year of running my own business full-time, taking on a lot of responsibility and having “so much to do”, I choose to soften.
SOFTEN
to become less hard, to become softer
to become, or to make something seem, less severe or unpleasant
to make something less forceful, less harsh
to become much more gentle and friendly
to make something smooth and pleasant to touch
GOALS & INTENTIONS
SOFT MORNINGS, SOFT NIGHTS
I’m tired of feeling like I’m rushing into my days without having time to myself to pause, or reflect, or enjoy myself; truly unwinding.
So in 2023, I would like to have softer mornings and softer nights. I am still figuring out what this means for me, things that feel very soft and cozy; physically and emotionally.
SOFTEN UP
Last year, I realized that perfectionism was creeping in a few areas of my life. I was over-analyzing, overthinking, and wanting everything to work out perfectly, even things that are out of my control. If it didn’t, I felt anxious or unsatisfied with stuff.
This year, I want to embrace softness. I want to remember that life is precious, and there is room to have all the experiences I want to have. I don’t have to cram things in, or force them if they’re not flowing. I want to plan and control less and live more.
SOFT SHOULDERS
I mean this both literally and metaphorically. I love the idea of softening my shoulders – not stressing over everything that's going on. Relaxing into the moment & accepting what is. Lightening up.
I also want to find ways to literally soften my shoulders. To do more stretching and maybe get relaxing massages to loosen up. And as always, I want to work on my posture.
SOFT EYES
I want to look upon others with love, softness, compassion and affection. I want to be gentle in all my relationships. I want to have soft eyes: for my partner, my neighbors, my family, and for myself.
SEEK SOFTNESS
This is a fun one! I want to literally be surrounded by soft things this year. Cozy, soft, gentle fabrics in the form of clothes, blankets, sheets, pyjamas and pillows.
Maybe I can sneak in some time around super-soft cats and dogs, heck maybe we'll get a fluffy pet of our own? Softness in all things! I want to be comfortable & cozy in 2023.
SOFTER SKIN
I can’t be the only one who struggles with this. It seems like I have neglected my feet and I need to be more mindful about them, maybe even finally get a pedicure; I haven't gone since my grandma past, it was a thing we did together and I've been putting it off.
This soften skin also extends to my hands, lips, and entire body. I want to use lovely lotions and potions that smell good and make my skin nice and soft. Our skin and bodies are our forever homes - and we should never forget that.
SOFTER SELF
Last but not least, I want to be softer with myself. My self-talk can get pretty brutal sometimes. I want that to soften. I want to learn to speak to myself with positivity and kindness and love. This may also mean finding more tools for self-compassion & self-love.
Being softer with myself also means scheduling in more self-care; doing what I love: being creative, writing, taking photos, cooking delicious meals, and reading great books without making it a commitment but allowing things to organically flow.
I’m looking forward to taking more opportunities to relax, breathe, and trust that everything is going to be okay.
If you choose a word for the year, I would love to hear about it.
Let's make this the first year we stop making resolutions of things that don't excite us and soften into joy.