The Help I Need
Why are we so weird when it comes to asking for help?
I'm such a "Nah I got this" and suffer in silence kinda ass person, which is nothing to be proud of. I feel uncomfortable asking for help in any kind of situation. Like if you know me; I'm 5 feet 1-ish and will risk breaking my neck than asking for someone taller to grab something off the top shelf. This issue obviously extends to deeper things too. And it's so often those wanting to help, we don't even attempted to ask. Pride is a silly thing or maybe it's because I had to do so much for so long by myself. Girl, take the helping hand, it's about time you learned.
So don't sweat the small things or the big things because in life when you finally choose to say yes to something take a look around and find those who can and want to support you on this journey. It's one thing to be independent, it's a whole other thing to think you can do something alone. Most of the great independent and successful people I know, are that because they have a really good support system.
Here's the thing about your team in life though, for every adventure you set on, your team will be different. Sometimes it'll be family and friends, sometimes it'll be someone older than you, and sometimes it might be someone younger. Sometimes it might even be a big surprise to you. There will be times that you'll be disappointed that someone can't be on your team at that particular time in your life. This is ok too.
Accept the people who are there to help you. Imma write that again even if it's just for myself; accept the people who are there to help you. Remember to recognize these people and say thank you, acknowledge them and have the respect towards those who have gotten you there.
Realize that doing something a different way than what you originally planned, could be the right way after all. And what a wonderful opportunity to see something new and different.
A lot of us need to be encouraged to ask for help and like any skill, practice is required. The more often you ask, the more comfortable you will become. With time, mis-communications will be reduced, anxiety will lessen, and words will become more eloquent.
To make sure your mayday signals are transmitted with both strength and clarity, lets set up some steps to get you there.
Be articulate. For example petty domestic situations which can breakout into bigger arguments just because of the lack of clarity; assuming that your significant other knows what you want without you telling it to them just because you want them to initiate something, is a slippery slope. So name the need. Slow down and clarify exactly what you need or want. (Ask before you get mad).
Then there are times when we feel vulnerable, give yourself a break. You will never be able to freely ask for help unless you truly believe you deserve it. Also notice that help by others can help you make the progress better and faster.
Virtually everybody has a strong urge to help others. By asking for help, you provide the other person with an opportunity to do something meaningful and you ultimately experience gratification because of this. Asking for help is way of implicitly praising the other person, because you imply that you trust the other person and therefore value them.
“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” — Mark Amend