when you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you.
Now if I remember correctly I think Jim Carrey said that. “The funny thing is when you start feeling happy alone, that’s when everyone decides to be with you.”. And it really is true. Everything starts from us, me, you. Inside.
Our new reality has forced us into a situation where the normal state of socializing has been flipped upside down and over again; some are enjoying it and some are loosing their minds, and some of you maybe lingering in between all of it. Non the less it's a new way of life.
Because I'm a solitary person, times like these bring me closer to myself, if not in the moment, then definitely in retrospect. In fact, I've found that solitude produces a distinct sense of intimacy, vulnerability, and honesty. Things I wear on my sleeve with pride.
But sometimes, as life gets more complicated, solitude yields loneliness.
And I totally understand that loneliness can quietly and unexpectedly sneak up on you. Usually, when you find yourself confusing solitude for loneliness, it's because being on your own no longer represents a brief escape from constant social interactions with family, friends, co-workers, or loved ones. Rather, it happens when you're feeling unsure and insecure, usually unconsciously.
But being happy alone, despite the obstacles, isn't as farfetched as it sounds.
These tips are aimed at helping you get the ball rolling. They might not transform your life overnight, but they can help you get more comfortable with being alone.
First of all I want to remind you that you are good enough all by yourself without any external resources.
Value others’ opinions, but value your own more. Only you know best what's good for you and your needs.
Carve out time to let your mind wander. I encourage all ages to allow yourself to get bored every once in a while. That's were creativity and innovation lives. (If you have children please let them get bored sometimes, our future relies on it)
Learn to be an observer. Learning how people operate when they think no one is watching will make you feel more connected to them. (Please don't make it weird and become a creepy stalker though)
Lean into the perks of being alone. Take up all the space and spread out; sing, dance and be silly, just do it.
Close your eyes and appreciate the silence. This doesn't mean you have to meditate but allow your body to enjoy the relaxing emptiness of doing absolutely nothing.
Learn how to talk to yourself. Every single person has an inner voice that talks to them at all hours of all days, and getting to know that person and how to talk to them is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. How else are you going to get to now them?
Create, create, create. When you’re alone, all excuses are gone. Whatever the word create triggers in you - do that. I mean why not?
Acknowledge things you are grateful for. That forever gratitude journal I always talk about. Make a list - mental or physical - of the things in your life that you appreciate. The next time you’re alone and feeling down, whip out this list to remind yourself of everything you have going for you. (A few things that are always on my gratitude list are - technology, indoor plumbing, my five senses and the amazing fine motor skills I have)
Go to a movie alone. I've done this several times in my lifetime and it's such a fun experience. Get used to doing things alone that society says is made for two or more. I've also gone out for dinner alone and had a glass of wine too, because at the end of the day if I'm not enjoying my company no one else will either.
Some people are naturally happy alone. But for others, being solo is a challenge. If you fall into the latter group, there are ways to become more comfortable with being alone (yes, even if you’re a hardcore extrovert).
Regardless of how you feel about being alone, building a good relationship with yourself is a worthy investment. After all, you do spend quite a bit of time with yourself, so you might as well learn to enjoy it.
Leave a comment below or lets connect on Instagram, what are some of your favorite things to do alone?
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