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  • Writer's pictureSarah M.

My Self-Worth Through Relationships

Would You Want This for Your Child?

I've been pondering a thought that has been resonating with me deeply: "I can tell how much you love yourself by the partner (and others) you've chosen." At first glance, this might feel triggering - GOOD! I want this to provoke thoughts.

This concept can be quite powerful, sparking a mixture of compliments and critiques depending on one's perspective and situation. It's an intriguing lens through which to examine the dynamics of our relationships and the underlying self-worth they reveal.

In my observations, I've noticed a pattern in how people choose their partners and friends. It’s clear that the way individuals allow themselves to be treated by others speaks volumes about their self-perception and self-respect. For instance, I’ve seen people who consistently end up in relationships where they are undervalued or disrespected. They often rationalize this treatment, believing it's normal or that they must compromise to maintain the relationship.

I remember one relationship in particular where my partner's actions constantly undermined my self-esteem. The dismissive comments, the lack of emotional support, the feeling of being undervalued—it was a pattern I had come to accept as normal. I thought that love required compromise and that enduring these behaviors was part of being in a relationship. But deep down, I knew I deserved better.

Then, an interesting thought crossed my mind: would I be okay if my loved ones chose a partner or friends who treated them the same way? The answer was a resounding no. If I wanted more for my loved ones, why was I not wanting more for myself? If we desire better treatment for our loved ones, why shouldn't we demand the same for ourselves?

It’s heartbreaking to see individuals settle for less than they deserve. Often, they don’t realize their own worth and continue to accept subpar treatment because it feels familiar or because they fear being alone. But recognizing one's worth and deciding to stop settling is a powerful, transformative decision.

However, it’s not enough to simply choose a good partner and surround yourself with positive individuals. One must also strive to be a good partner and friend. This means doing the inner work, creating love and happiness within oneself, and taking responsibility for one's actions. Being in a healthy relationship is a two-way street; it requires mutual respect, effort, and self-awareness. By being the best version of yourself, you contribute to the creation of a nurturing and supportive environment, fostering deeper connections and genuine happiness.

From my vantage point, I’ve seen remarkable changes in people who make this shift. When someone decides to value themselves more, they begin to attract healthier relationships - healthier everything. They start setting boundaries, saying no to toxic behaviors, and seeking connections that reflect their improved self-esteem.

If you ever find yourself or someone you know stuck in a cycle of settling for less, remember that change is always possible. Right here and right now, you can decide to expect more for yourself. It's a journey that requires courage and self-awareness, but it leads to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Ultimately, the relationships we nurture are a mirror to our inner self-worth. By choosing partners and friends who reflect the love and respect we have for ourselves, we set a powerful example for others, especially our children. It's a testament to the belief that everyone deserves to be cherished and valued. So, let’s strive to cultivate relationships that truly honor our worth, and encourage others to do the same.

So, take a moment to reflect on your relationships. Are they reflective of the love and respect you have for yourself? If not, what changes can you make today? Commit to valuing yourself more and being the best partner and friend you can be. Let's strive to cultivate relationships that truly honor our worth and encourage others to do the same. Your journey to a more fulfilling and authentic life starts now.




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