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  • Writer's pictureSarah M.


Positivity is not the be-all-end-all.

Now if you're here reading this thinking, wait what (?!?), isn't this positivity shizz the stuff you rave about, and what the hell do you mean we shouldn't be obsess about positivity, just give me a chance to explain this one.

Even though I am a positivity campaigner, being positive 24/7 isn't realistic. In fact it’s completely unrealistic to hold that as an expectation for yourself and others. Being a positive person means that we are entitled to negative feelings, that there is room for unhappiness, sadness and even being upset.

As each day brings its own obstacles, pitfalls, highs and lows and sometimes even past demons knocking on your door at night; it's irrational to trick yourself into an absurd shell of a person who is only allowed to feel one side of the emotion spectrum.

Focusing solely on having a positive mindset when you’re faced with a situation that makes you feel less than positive, will make you start feeling bad about yourself for not being able to stay positive, that's an endless cycle that leads to further negativity.

There is power in letting yourself feel without trying to immediately find the light at the end of the tunnel and trying to force a positive outcome will not always get to the root of the issue. We are allowed to feel emotions other than happiness. And remember gratitude and affirmations shouldn’t have to feel forced. So what is there?

Awareness and growth. Awareness and growth encourage you to uplift your mindset without pushing away the sometimes important heavy stuff. They can help you understand the situation, what is going on within you and identify ways that can keep you moving forward.

Bring awareness to what you are thinking. Pay attention to the way you think and feel about yourself and others. Accept the thoughts you have and continue moving on with your day without letting them derail you. Whatever is causing you to feel negative in your life, remember it’s not permanent. It’s only a feeling.

As humans we all experience deep, dark and intense thoughts. When you have a growth mindset, ask yourself how you can move from negative experiences. Rather than trying to force it into a positive experience, ask, “How can I grow from this?” or “What is this teaching me right now?”

To me the key is your outlook on life as a whole. Feel the depths of your feelings, but don't allow yourself to get suck in the trap of wallowing, pity or the victim mindset. Don't ignore the negative but choose to focus on the good.


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