Sex can be an incredibly complicated part of life. However natural it may be, it's still easy to associate it with negative emotions, specifically shame.
Even the word sex can be somewhat of a taboo we avoid. Avoid talking to our parents, children, friends, doctors and even our partners.
But you shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to talk about sex. It’s a normal part of our lives, and it should be a beautiful and comfortable experience.
If you were raised in a home or church where talking about sex was taboo, the irony is, these “protective” rules and expectations of perfect sexual purity can be overwhelming. Even in homes where it wasn't shameful, you can still be left with the feeling of shame and embarrassment. Without someone to talk to, you may feel that such pressures are what pushed you toward a warped view of sex or unhealthy sexual behaviors.
And maybe the reason you feel scared to talk about sex openly is that currently there is a belief in your subconscious that says: Sex is wrong.
We even view violence in movies in a more nonchalant way, where as a sex scene can be embarrassing or even disgraceful in our minds. Shame on us, how did sex becoming something worse then death?
Communication is important in any healthy relationship because it lets you share your feelings and tackle problems together. This is also true regarding your sex life.
Many people find it hard to talk openly about sex, especially if they've never spoken about it with their partner or anyone for that matter.
Being able to talk about sex without turning it into a joke (that’s a tension release), can be really powerful and extremely important.
The more comfortable, grounded (relaxed), and confident you are talking about sex, and the more fun you have talking about it and expressing your sexual desires, fantasies, and experiences, the odds are, the more comfortable you'll become in bed.
I'm not saying that you have to air out your dirty laundry to the world but to have someone you are comfortable talking with is important.
There are also times where sex is just sex, that's perfectly fine too. You can enjoy sex analytically with no emotion or feelings for the person, if that's something you enjoy, you do you boo boo, you do you.
I'm writing this to tear down some of those walls we've been taught to build around us in the name of protection when in fact they are just causing shame, misinformation and discomfort. When you feel safe and comfortable, sex should be a wonderful thing.
Sex doesn't need to be the joke in order for it to be talked about. There is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality - whatever that means to you. Sex is not only for procreation, sex is for pleasure; for your pleasure. Sex is natural and sex is fun. Sex should be something we celebrate and feel good about.
Be safe and enjoy.
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