How I Became a Better Me
I've been living in this gratitude bubble for a while now and wondering why I've been feeling extremely happy, healthy and absolutely amazing every day. I guess practice makes perfect. Well not perfect, none of us will ever be perfect, as humans we are flawed; perfectly imperfect.
We've all made mistakes and we'll keep messing up throughout our lives, that's just part of this journey. But it doesn’t mean we should give up on self-improvement - we should all strive to become the person we want to be.
Self-improvement doesn't involve you being harder on yourself, actually it's quite the opposite. Many times we can be our worst enemy for some reason, when what we need to be is our own best friend; it's the longest relationship you'll ever have and in my opinion, the most important one too.
By cultivating more self-kindness and compassion, the more equipped you’ll be to treat those around you the same way.
How does one become a better person? Well that's for you to figure out, in the mean time here are a few things that have worked for me.
1. I stopped thinking about myself in a negative way
I've realized that everything stems from the way you talk to and about yourself. The more you point out your failures and mistakes the more they added up; and inevitably the more crappier you'll feel. Pay attention to what you say about yourself, catch yourself and stop it. (Even if you don't want to say good things about yourself, at least stop the doubt and negative thought)
2. I acknowledged my toxic and hurtful ways
We all possess toxic habits of some kind. Some of us feed into them knowingly, but most of us nurture them unconsciously. And, depending on how often you let yourself exercise toxic patterns, these behaviors can become so deeply ingrained that we’re unable to see them. After all, when habits become secondary, they are harder to unlearn.
It’s never easy or fun to engage in serious self-evaluation, but there’s no other way around it. If you’re reading this and feeling a bit triggered, it may be time to take a good, hard look in the mirror and start taking responsibility for your behavior.
Although the challenge might feel overwhelming, you’ll quickly discover that, ultimately, you’re in control. And that’s truly empowering.
3. I forgave and let go of anger
Why do you hold onto anger? What are you gaining? Do you feel like you have the right to be angry?
When we truly forgive, we let go of anger and hostility that eats away at our happiness and clouds our mind. Forgiving someone who has hurt you only empowers you to let go of the pain from the past. It doesn’t mean you forget what happened; rather, it means you learn to release resentment and anger, which would otherwise be a burden on your heart and mind.
4. I made others feel good about themselves
This is my bread and butter. I turned my (not-so-healthy) people pleasing patterns into authentic feel-good-boosters, where I go "out of my way" to make someone else feel good about themselves. And by out of my way I mean, despite of my introverted essence I will tell someone they look amazing, or I'll voice by feelings that a customer services experience brought me joy or send a message to someone after seeing them on how much it meant to me just being with them. Not because I want to be nice but because being kind makes me feel better. It's something that adds up inside my happiness jar.
People that aren't happy for you, probably aren't happy for themselves either.
5. I stopped accepting bullshit
Bullshit is anything that distracts you from what really matters. It’s all the excuses, lies, self-deception, lethargy, self-invented obstacles, other people who want to take advantage of your time, money or kindness, and everything else that diverts your energy.
Healthy boundaries all around (remember to also check yourself). If you are waiting for a miracle or change, unfortunately that's never gonna happen.
When I stopped collecting others approval, all their bullshit fell away. Think about those who always offer their tiring bullshit to you, who are they? Maybe it's time to move on?
There are always ways to improve yourself and become a better person. These are just a few ways that have made a significant difference in my life and you need to find what feels most joyous and nurturing to you; weave them into your daily life.