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  • Sarah M.

Being a Narcissist

This is where we take a deep dive into the uncomfortable.

I know I keep nagging about decluttering your life from certain people but these are the most dangerous ones of them all. These are the ones who will sneak up close and really damage you. Getting rid of these guys is crucial to living a better life.


Narcissist. The term “narcissist” gets thrown around a fair bit and often haphazardly describes actions that reflect someone’s self-interest. But at its core, narcissism goes beyond your friend monopolizing the dinner conversation.


Narcissism a serious personality disorder that causes someone to have an inflated sense of self-importance. While narcissists are often charming at first, it’s best to avoid dating them, befriending them or otherwise inviting them into your life. And since this disorder isn’t one-size-fits-all, there are several different types of narcissists, and steering clear is often a bit tricky.


Side note: One major difference between a manipulator and a narcissist is that the manipulator can change.


A lot of the times, people can’t believe a person is that self-centered and lacking in empathy. They are given the benefit of the doubt because they can act in ways that seem generous, but it’s only an illusion to get something specific in return.


With all this confusion, it’s easy to see how simple unknowingly letting a narcissist into your life can be, which is precisely why it’s so important to know about the different types of narcissists, and their defining characteristics.


1. The toxic narcissist

There’s a range of toxic narcissism, and none of it is good. A toxic narcissist continually causes drama in others’ lives; pain and destruction. This person constantly demands all of your time and attention. They don't respond well when you don’t meet their demands.


2. The psychopathic narcissist

A psychopath is an unstable, aggressive person; these are typical traits in the psychopathic narcissist. A psychopathic narcissist, which is a type of toxic narcissist, will often be violent and show no remorse for their behavior.


3. The closet narcissist

This one can be trickier to spot than other types of narcissists because the person isn’t always obvious about their disorder. A closet narcissist feels entitled, constantly needing other people to admire them, being preoccupied with success, being jealous and lacking empathy for others. They often try to pretend that they’re really selfless, but it's all an act.


4. The exhibitionist narcissist

The exhibitionist narcissist is on the opposite end of the narcissism spectrum from the closet narcissist. This is the narcissist who lets everyone around them know that they are narcissistic. They take advantage of other people and are often arrogant. They are blatant about their self-centered behavior and need to be in the spotlight, they get uncomfortable when they’re not.


5. The bullying narcissist

This person combines two terrible traits: bullying and self-absorption. Bullying narcissists build themselves up by trashing other people. They are often fixated on winning and will mock or threaten others to get their way. They ultimately get joy from making other people feel bad, small, or unworthy. This is different from a “regular” bully who tends to put people down for social gain, where a bullying narcissist does it for personal motivation.


6. The seducer narcissist

This is a particularly tricky type of narcissist: The seducer will make you feel great about yourself just to ‘win’ you over as a sexual or love conquest. They will often seem to admire or fawn over you, only to write you off once they no longer have a use for you.


Ultimately, it’s important to steer away from any kind of narcissist in your life. But since the toxic and psychopathic narcissist are actually dangerous to be around, these are the ones to avoid at all costs. Other kinds of narcissists aren’t going to go out of their way to hurt somebody, they are just obsessed with themselves.


You cannot change a person with narcissistic personality disorder or make them happy by loving them enough or by changing yourself to meet their whims and desires. They will never be in tune with you, never empathic to your experiences, and you will always feel empty after an interaction with them.

Essentially, you’ll never be enough for them, because they’re never enough for themselves.


Remember, You are not responsible for their behavior, but you are responsible for taking care of yourself.


Let me be the one that shines a light on you, because you matter; to me. I hope you find courage to distance yourself from anyone who behaves like this and fill your life with truly loving, caring and engaging individuals who bring out the best in you and themselves.



Disclaimer: This article isn’t meant to diagnose anyone. It’s meant to outline unacceptable behaviors.

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