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  • Writer's pictureSarah M.

Are You Bitter, Bitch?

Over the course of our lives, we cross paths with all types of people - and the fact that we're even prone to classifying them as "types" shows just how much we tend to believe that people are certain ways by nature, even ourselves.

But the truth is, many aspects of our personalities and emotional make-ups develop over time through the psychological habits we have adopted, the ways we interpret events, the thoughts that run through our heads, and the explanations we give ourselves for how the world works.

No one wakes up wanting to become bitter and negative, and yet it's not uncommon, especially for people who have experienced more than their share of tough times.

Sometimes, people who are handed lemons don’t make lemonade, they just become bitter.

Someone who’s bitter holds grudges, is often jealous, and generally focuses on the dark side of life.

Even someone who has it all; the job, the security, the family, the partner, the friends, the money, and the long vacations – can still end up feeling bitter.

And those who are bitter aren’t always the easiest of people to deal with; they are often not just angry with the individual who’s wronged them, but all kinds of people.

They hold grudges, and clench to anger. Bitterness can actually be something that gives someone a sense of purpose, even if it’s negative.

A bitter person’s favorite topic of conversation is likely to be things that have happened to them. They take no steps to change things to help them get to a better place, they stay exactly where they are, wondering why things don’t just fall into their lap.

If you recognize some or all of these elements, if you feel like you might be living in a state of bitterness, I encourage you to seek help.

Another way to cope is to try and admire people in your life who have managed to fulfill their dreams or at least are on the path to a better version of themselves, use them as guides to go where you want to go. Take part in the celebration of life because you’ve also been a part of their journey, part of something fun, joyous and wonderful.

People are different in many ways but most of us have experienced some kind of negativity: failures, heartbreaks, frustrations, trauma etc. However, some of us have the ability to look on the bright side and still manage to smile despite the trials that we have faced - and still face. Often by simply choosing to smile, deciding to overcome the bad and to live in the good. YUK, annoying for some, I understand.

Think of it this way: your cheerful and optimistic friends are reminders that no matter how bad life treats you, there's always a way out, always a different path to choose.

Bitterness is an illness of the mind and dwelling on what happened allows bitterness to become a permanent part of your character. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind.

Of course it's okay to feel sad, angry and negative thoughts, but that's just a fraction of us, it's when you marinate in those emotions, that they become a larger part of your life and who you are.

You have the right and the privilege to let go of prolonged negative feelings, to improve your happiness and well-being. To make a better world for yourself and for those you want around you.

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison."

Nelson Mandela, after he served 27 years in prison, confined to a small cell without a bed or plumbing. He could write and receive only one letter once every six months, and once a year he was allowed to meet with a visitor for 30 minutes.

You too have what it takes. Stop negativity from sabotaging the good life that you deserve. Because you do deserve that sweet lemonade.


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